Time to Tell

The time had arrived to tell my husband I had been unfaithful and aborted my pregnancy by the other man.

We had three Family Life “Weekend to Remember” marriage conferences under our belt and my relationship with the Lord was as strong as steel. We were on our way home from our 2nd year of volunteering with Family Life and I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to confess.

I had walked through my choices with some close friends and family for 4 years, but never felt courage running through my veins until now.

Earlier in the year, I had a moment with God that changed my life. On my knees, hands raised, tears flowing, I told God if I lost everyone and everything from my confession, but still had Him, I knew I would be okay. Therefore, when my time came to tell my husband I really felt God was with us in the car that day. I asked him to pull into a church parking lot and soon my regretful choices flowed from my mouth like water out of a garden hose.

I did not know what to expect from my husband, but I sat in the lap of security that Jesus was in control. What I did not see coming was that my husband had a confession of infidelity also. I was totally blindsided and as my husband paced the parking lot trying to digest my news before we drove home to our kids, I sat bewildered and betrayed. What was strange is that I did not feel betrayed by my husband at that moment. Instead, I felt God had turned his back on me. I could not understand how He could leave me feeling unprepared.

Later that night after everyone was in bed, I sat at the kitchen table sobbing. My Bible was in front of me and I whispered to God, “You have to show me something.” I nonchalantly flipped open my Bible to 2 Chronicles 20. At some point in my walk with God, I had underlined a section of verse 15: For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

God let me know in the middle of my pain that He had not only had my back, but my battle. I see now that I was more prepared than I felt. My husband and I both messed up, but we chose to forgive and extend grace. We both sought God like never before, separately and together. We both chose to forgive the person we had our affairs with and we allowed God to do the impossible in our marriage. We chose to ignore the lie, “once a cheater always a cheater” and believe God’s truths.

Today we still volunteer with Family Life and God uses our poor choices for ministry to bring Him glory as we share the greatness of His grace and forgiveness. He also has me sharing my choice of abortion as a certified leader of “Surrendering the Secret”, a ministry for post-abortion women.

When we feel wrecked, sometimes it is for our own good so that His redemption will give others hope. You may want to tweet this. 

About the Author: Lelia Chealey is a writer, speaker, wife, mom, and very young Grandma of two. If she’s not somewhere talking about Jesus, you can find her writing about Him on her blog at www.leliachealey.com

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